remember: don't get too close

Don't trust too much and don't ever get too close. Especially in San Francisco...

once a month, i wish i were a man...

I had the best night last night but when I woke up, I knew it would be one of 'those' days. First of all, it's a Monday. It's also going to be the last week for my boss before he takes off for a whole month on sabbatical = hectic and crazy week for us both.

I was grumpy, moody and super irritable. I knew I was especialy annoyed, by every little thing and by everyone. And it's only MONDAY!

Then at 5pm, it came. I knew I was freaking PMSing. The next couple of days will really be hell!

Kalt & Stacey's housewarming

We went to Stacey and Kalt's housewarming where half of the couples there were mixed. When I came home, I started googling: "White guys with Asian girls" and found that I am not the only one who is well aware of this wide spread phenomenon here in the Bay Area.

I was chatting with someone at work when I first started in the beginning of the year. She saw a photo of me and Hak on my wall and asked, 'Is this your husband?' When I replied yes, she commented that I had married traditional. I thought, 'WTF?' What is that supposed to mean really? Obviously at that point, I suspected she married someone other than her own asian heritage and I was right.

Which reminded me of a conversation I had with the HR director from my last job. She was a nut job and turned out to be a royal evil bitch. She asked what nationality my boyfriend (at the time) was. I said asian. And she said, 'Really? I'm surprised. I thought you'd be with a white guy. You seem the type to be with a white guy. Again, WTF is that supposed to mean? Needless to say, she is a flip and her husband is white.

I've always been one to say that you cannot control your heart or who you fall in love with. I also believe that you fall in love with the person's soul and not the color of his/her skin. I've dated other of my own asian race but find myself annoyed at people who only date one particular race or seeks out only one particular race other than their own. I know I shouldn't care and it really isn't any of my business but yeah, it bugs me more than it should.

During my google search, I came upon this site:
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls/

And there was this comment thread which depressed the hell out of me:

somethingelse on July 26, 2008 at 3:44 pm
asian girls do look like they are 20 … but only until they are 45… then they look 72 the next day. strange phenomenon.
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Not a white girl on July 27, 2008 at 12:23 pm
that’s true… somethingelse. asian women don’t crack til about 45, then all the sudden go downhill. i’ve seen it in my aunts, and other asian women. wierd….
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The thing is, I think this is really true! I see the slightest signs of aging as I leave my 30's. It's as if I've looked younger than my years for the longest time and all of a sudden, I am begining to finally look my age. (Although people at work still think I am years younger than I am.)

I will feel forever young and I don't think I will ever lose the childest enthusium that I have, but slowly I'll need to get used to looking old(er)!

what irks me most

1. Not having close friends in the same time zone so that when I come home from work late, which is often and I want to catch up, bitch, laugh, cry, whatever - I can't call anyone. They are all sleeping.
2. not capitalizing the first letter of the first word of a sentence in everything you type is fine in a casual setting: text, emails to friends, memos to self. etc. however, it is NOT acceptable and is down right annoying when people do this at work. just plain unprofessional.
3. People who stand on the left side of the escalator who don't don't move to the right hand side if they don't plan to move their arses, walk up or down - especially during rush hour.
4. Drivers who still are still using their cell phones in the car while driving.
5. Drivers who don't signal.
6. The company trying to be green at work by buying less bottled water and installing a water system for employees to use. What this has created is people hording all the bottled water in the morning since there is limited supply so that if you have an afternoon meeting with clients or partners, good luck carrying more than 2 big cheap plastic red glasses of H2o to the conference room without spilling.
7. People who are obviously not friends but really acquaintences when they ask you how you are doing at your new job and say the wrong company name. Obviously, they weren't listening or cared at your going away happy hour or the number of times you saw them afterwards.
8. Don't complain to me about people giving you unwanted advice now that you've learned you are pregnant and then turn around and dish out unsolicited annoying advice to me that my doctor has not even mentioned to me.
9. Know it alls.
10. Snotty elitists.
11. More often than and I don't want this to irk me but it does: minus one couples.
12. 50-60 degree weather in freakin July. Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

To be continued...

Fritz in Hayes Valley

Grabbed a bite to eat after the wedding on Hayes Street. They recently moved next door to where they were and renovated. I miss the coziness of the old place. It's more modern now and they lost the outdoor garden space in the back!

The 'fritz' is still great. My favorite dipping sauce with the fries is the wasabi mayo! YUM.

a&w's wedding

I have not been to a wedding since Li's in Hawaii in 2005. But that was a destination wedding and a totally different category. The last wedding before that one was Jake's in New York in 2003? 2002? It was so long ago that I can't even remember the year.

There was a time between 1996 and 2000 when I went to a lot of weddings. People were still getting married in their 20's right after they graduated from college and landed a decent job. Most were dating their college sweetheart. Some their high school loves. Others found their mates shortly after college. They followed 'the plan'. Graduate, get a job, get married, make some babies. Pretty much all of my friends were on this path. Only I was not. I was with someone for 12 years and never took the next step. We were engaged for more than half our relationship - for 8 years. We got engaged even before some of our married friends starting dating each other! We, or I had thought it was enough at the time. We were committed. No need to get married for the paperwork to make it official. In hindsight, I think neither one of us wanted to grow up and move into true adulthood. We were having too much fun being young and carefree. Too selfish to think about starting a family or becoming husband and wife.

I was so anxious this morning about going to this wedding today. I was nervous about who the other possible guests may be. There was one person in particular who might have been invited that I didn't particularly wanted to see. She had not been very nice to me in the past. We were colleagues and once friendly but all that changed when I got promoted and she didn't. She stopped talking to me the very day the promotions were announced. I know it shouldn't matter and that with someone like that I shouldn't even let it bother me. She, it, isn't worth it. But of course, I'm human and may be a bit sensitive and it did/does bother me to this day. After all, I tried to talked to her to find out why. But some conflicts have no resolutions. And some situations are just the way it is. There are some things in life I've learned I cannot change and should not care to change. If she wasn't happy for me in my well deserved promotion, than she was never a real friend in the first place!

I knew today is not about me and that I should just suck it up. The day belonged to a&w and I had to show up in support and celebration of their love in marriage.

In the end, she was was not there or not even invited. I will never know and I don't care anymore. At least I did not have to be fake and smile as if nothing was wrong.

It was the shortest ceremony I had ever been to. And it was perfect. They got right to the important part and the reason why we were all there - to witness the exchange of the marriage vows and to hear them say, 'I do!' The whole thing was over in 5 minutes. I know because I had my Flip and recorded the whole thing.

Aimee asked me what's it like to be married, to be a Mrs now. And I told her the truth. I think I wrote it in their card as well. The ring, the ceremony...doesn't change anything. Nothing really changes. And nothing really matters as long as the love they have for each other never changes. And now people might even start to call her husband by her last name instead of his since she is not changing her name.

things i miss about nyc

In no particular order

1. 24 hour Duane Reades on every other block
2. Starbucks on every other block
3. 'regular' coffee
4. coffee carts
5. Biales! - Toasted and dripping with butter.
6. convenience
7. modern, clean, affordable nail spas everywhere
8. the subway
9. the bus
10. Chinatown Ice Cream Factory
11. The best beef jerky ever - on Mulberry
12. People walk. At all hours
13. homeless problem controlled
14. Central Park!
15. Canal Street
16. The midtown tunnel
17. The Yankees
18. The US Open
19. Big Wong restaurant
20. warm nights
21. 4 seasons
22. all the bridges - Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queensboro, Verrizano
23. Battery Park
24. my friends
25. my sister

chicken and waffles

The strangest combo. Not bad and quite interesting. Seems to be all the rage since Dave was just talking about having us over but that he hasn't perfected this recipe of chicken and waffles yet. Then a couple of weeks later, Hak tells me that Geoff wants to try out this place in Oakland that serves chicken and waffles.

So we go and ate the crispiest, very juicy and tasty fried chicken serves with waffles, butter and syrup. And of course, as many sides as you'd like to order: greens, corn bread, grits, yams, potato salad, mac and cheese.