I have not been to a wedding since Li's in Hawaii in 2005. But that was a destination wedding and a totally different category. The last wedding before that one was Jake's in New York in 2003? 2002? It was so long ago that I can't even remember the year.
There was a time between 1996 and 2000 when I went to a lot of weddings. People were still getting married in their 20's right after they graduated from college and landed a decent job. Most were dating their college sweetheart. Some their high school loves. Others found their mates shortly after college. They followed 'the plan'. Graduate, get a job, get married, make some babies. Pretty much all of my friends were on this path. Only I was not. I was with someone for 12 years and never took the next step. We were engaged for more than half our relationship - for 8 years. We got engaged even before some of our married friends starting dating each other! We, or I had thought it was enough at the time. We were committed. No need to get married for the paperwork to make it official. In hindsight, I think neither one of us wanted to grow up and move into true adulthood. We were having too much fun being young and carefree. Too selfish to think about starting a family or becoming husband and wife.
I was so anxious this morning about going to this wedding today. I was nervous about who the other possible guests may be. There was one person in particular who might have been invited that I didn't particularly wanted to see. She had not been very nice to me in the past. We were colleagues and once friendly but all that changed when I got promoted and she didn't. She stopped talking to me the very day the promotions were announced. I know it shouldn't matter and that with someone like that I shouldn't even let it bother me. She, it, isn't worth it. But of course, I'm human and may be a bit sensitive and it did/does bother me to this day. After all, I tried to talked to her to find out why. But some conflicts have no resolutions. And some situations are just the way it is. There are some things in life I've learned I cannot change and should not care to change. If she wasn't happy for me in my well deserved promotion, than she was never a real friend in the first place!
I knew today is not about me and that I should just suck it up. The day belonged to a&w and I had to show up in support and celebration of their love in marriage.
In the end, she was was not there or not even invited. I will never know and I don't care anymore. At least I did not have to be fake and smile as if nothing was wrong.
It was the shortest ceremony I had ever been to. And it was perfect. They got right to the important part and the reason why we were all there - to witness the exchange of the marriage vows and to hear them say, 'I do!' The whole thing was over in 5 minutes. I know because I had my Flip and recorded the whole thing.
Aimee asked me what's it like to be married, to be a Mrs now. And I told her the truth. I think I wrote it in their card as well. The ring, the ceremony...doesn't change anything. Nothing really changes. And nothing really matters as long as the love they have for each other never changes. And now people might even start to call her husband by her last name instead of his since she is not changing her name.
