How can I not feel left out if my brother-in-law and his wife gives my son and husband a Christmas gift (matching shirts from J Crew) and I got nothing. It is my baby's first Christmas and I'm sure the gift was intented for him. Then it might have been an afterthought at the store or online where they saw the matching shirt for an adult male.
My husband says it's not intentional and I imagine it was not meant to make me feel left out, but nonetheless it does. It hurts and it makes me feel like I'm not part of the family. I'm angry, upset and sad all at once. Intentional or not, what they did makes me feel this way and I just would have never been so unthoughtful to them or anyone else.
I'll get over it with time but why do people do such hurtful things to people.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Day 2 of pseudo sabbatical
Day 2 went just as fast as Day 1.
AM:
Had a call with Lisa at 9:30am. Let me tell you. This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for a lot of things but on that top of the list right next to Hak is having an assistant. And not just any assistant, but someone like Lisa. She is the bomb! Even though she is part time, she takes care of so much for me. I trust her and rely on her a great deal and it's only been a couple of months. When I think of her, I just get the urge to exhale and smile.
Lisa is wrapping up a bunch of stuff for me at work so that I can really let go the next several weeks. I am so lucky to have her!
After our 30 minute check-in call, I drove to my beauty appointment with Deborah. Every 3 weeks! Such a commitment of time, money and energy but so worth it. Something I do just for me.
Noon:
Got my yummy gingerbread latte, with whip (!) and a panini at Starbucks on Union.
Afternoon:
Ran errands with hundreds of others on the road until dark.
AM:
Had a call with Lisa at 9:30am. Let me tell you. This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for a lot of things but on that top of the list right next to Hak is having an assistant. And not just any assistant, but someone like Lisa. She is the bomb! Even though she is part time, she takes care of so much for me. I trust her and rely on her a great deal and it's only been a couple of months. When I think of her, I just get the urge to exhale and smile.
Lisa is wrapping up a bunch of stuff for me at work so that I can really let go the next several weeks. I am so lucky to have her!
After our 30 minute check-in call, I drove to my beauty appointment with Deborah. Every 3 weeks! Such a commitment of time, money and energy but so worth it. Something I do just for me.
Noon:
Got my yummy gingerbread latte, with whip (!) and a panini at Starbucks on Union.
Afternoon:
Ran errands with hundreds of others on the road until dark.
- Dropped off loads of dry cleaning. My guy is so good. He had my items for pick up when I walked in and before I even handed him the slip. I commented on this since there were other customers there before and after me but I was the only one who didn't have to hand him the receipt for pick up. He had seen me parking in front of the store and got it all ready while I was putting money in the meter. So good to be a regular customer. I come to this dry cleaner in Noe even though I don't live there anymore. Guess loyalty has its perks sometimes.
- Next stop: Costco. Not sure why I thought it would be quiet since it is a week day. It wasn't because I forgot that it was the day before Thanksgiving and everyone was there either food shopping or getting an early start on Christmas shopping. I was looking for luggage which Costco didn't have. So I just ended up buying stuff I sort of needed and stocked up on some staple items like chicken broth and shower gel.
- TJ Max. Still looking for the small luggage we can bring on the plane. The last Samsonite broke on us after just 1 year or 2. TJ Max had nothing but large suitcases.
It's not even Thanksgiving yet and already the shoppers are out. The roads are congested and it takes twice as long to get to anywhere, let alone park! Lines are long and patience short. Yes, the holidays have arrived.
PM:
Cooked dinner. Ate while watching Psych on USA. Laughed a bunch and now updating my blog.
I'm procrastinating of course. I need to pack. Only 5 days but lots of sweaters, warm clothing and boots to squeeze strategically into that suitcase...
41 days to go.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Day 1 of pseudo sabbabitcal
Preface:
I am taking 5 weeks off from work to 'live' my life which I've neglected to do for the last 4 years. To de-stress, to relax, to think and to start writing again.
I feel a little like James Caan in the movie Misery. I write better with a cigarette. And for me, it helps to be outdoors, especially since I'm smoking and I don't ever smoke in the house.
Day 1:
AM - Picked up Ivie and went to the DMV in the city. What an interesting place with lots of characters from all walks of life. All races speaking various languages. All working and non-working classes. Young and old. All shapes and sizes. Along with the sites and sounds comes all sorts of not so pleasant smells...
After Ivie passed her written test and finally got her California driver's license after more than 3 years of moving here from Florida, and I took my new photo, we went to La Boulange in Noe Valley for brunch. It was great to catch up and just chill. We always have a blast - laughing between every other sentence.
AFTERNOON - Went home after I dropped Ivie off to chillax a bit before my doctor appointment. It was my first time seeing Dr. Bricca. He's at St. Mary's near the Panhandle. A few colleagues recommended him as a primary. I was feeling feverish continously a week or so ago and wanted to check it out. Just need to make sure I don't have any infections and a general check-up.
Turns out as I suspect and knew, I didn't/don't have a fever and we still don't know why I am always feeling so uncomfortably hot. To make sure there isn't anything serious, of course blood had to be drawn to run some tests. Oh how I dislike needles. I actually thought about leaving without doing the labs but figured I should get it out of the way. Who actually likes having their blood drawn?
PM - Got home after 5pm and it was dark already...I really miss daylight savings. I was exhausted from not doing much of anything at all (though I did have 2 needed appointments). Time flies whether you are having fun, going to appointments, doing errands or doing nothing at all. Time is just passing by all too quickly!
Had some left over chinese food while watching TV and took a nap while waiting for Hak to come home.
Now it's again 11:30pm and I find myself wondering where the day went and how the hours passed.
Day 1 is almost over...42 more days left until I go back to the hectic life I am trying to let go of for a little while. Have to remember to slow down, live and enjoy the moments.
I am taking 5 weeks off from work to 'live' my life which I've neglected to do for the last 4 years. To de-stress, to relax, to think and to start writing again.
I feel a little like James Caan in the movie Misery. I write better with a cigarette. And for me, it helps to be outdoors, especially since I'm smoking and I don't ever smoke in the house.
Day 1:
AM - Picked up Ivie and went to the DMV in the city. What an interesting place with lots of characters from all walks of life. All races speaking various languages. All working and non-working classes. Young and old. All shapes and sizes. Along with the sites and sounds comes all sorts of not so pleasant smells...
After Ivie passed her written test and finally got her California driver's license after more than 3 years of moving here from Florida, and I took my new photo, we went to La Boulange in Noe Valley for brunch. It was great to catch up and just chill. We always have a blast - laughing between every other sentence.
AFTERNOON - Went home after I dropped Ivie off to chillax a bit before my doctor appointment. It was my first time seeing Dr. Bricca. He's at St. Mary's near the Panhandle. A few colleagues recommended him as a primary. I was feeling feverish continously a week or so ago and wanted to check it out. Just need to make sure I don't have any infections and a general check-up.
Turns out as I suspect and knew, I didn't/don't have a fever and we still don't know why I am always feeling so uncomfortably hot. To make sure there isn't anything serious, of course blood had to be drawn to run some tests. Oh how I dislike needles. I actually thought about leaving without doing the labs but figured I should get it out of the way. Who actually likes having their blood drawn?
PM - Got home after 5pm and it was dark already...I really miss daylight savings. I was exhausted from not doing much of anything at all (though I did have 2 needed appointments). Time flies whether you are having fun, going to appointments, doing errands or doing nothing at all. Time is just passing by all too quickly!
Had some left over chinese food while watching TV and took a nap while waiting for Hak to come home.
Now it's again 11:30pm and I find myself wondering where the day went and how the hours passed.
Day 1 is almost over...42 more days left until I go back to the hectic life I am trying to let go of for a little while. Have to remember to slow down, live and enjoy the moments.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Cleaning and Organizing calms me
I woke up from a nightmare at 8am this morning. 9am really but daylight savings ended last night so though I technically gained an hour, I, who normally sleep in on weekends until 10am or 11am, didn't gain any more sleep but in face got up at 8am.
I think it was because I had a vivid nightmare last night. I dreamt I was going to miss my flight to NYC (My boss is flying to NYC today and long ago I had planned on going with him but changed my plans a while back.) and was doing everything I could to catch it. Including climbing up the Brooklyn Bridge on a teeny tiny rope ladder, despite of my fear of heights. The interesting thing is I was in NYC already but trying to catch a flight to NYC.
I woke up needing to do something productive and wanted to distract myself from the weird dream. While I would normallyl chill on the sofa catching up on some tv shows, I decided to start cleaning and organizing which sometimes overwhelms me since I am so detailed it may take me hours just to organize one kitchen drawer. But starting the process feels good.
I needed a break and wanted to write - something else that I used to do a lot to calm myself but I haven't taken the time in years to write regularly like I used to.
Life is short and why not make the time to do the things I love and makes me happy or relaxes me.
Today is a new day. Must start these habits and routines and do my best to keep them.
I think it was because I had a vivid nightmare last night. I dreamt I was going to miss my flight to NYC (My boss is flying to NYC today and long ago I had planned on going with him but changed my plans a while back.) and was doing everything I could to catch it. Including climbing up the Brooklyn Bridge on a teeny tiny rope ladder, despite of my fear of heights. The interesting thing is I was in NYC already but trying to catch a flight to NYC.
I woke up needing to do something productive and wanted to distract myself from the weird dream. While I would normallyl chill on the sofa catching up on some tv shows, I decided to start cleaning and organizing which sometimes overwhelms me since I am so detailed it may take me hours just to organize one kitchen drawer. But starting the process feels good.
I needed a break and wanted to write - something else that I used to do a lot to calm myself but I haven't taken the time in years to write regularly like I used to.
Life is short and why not make the time to do the things I love and makes me happy or relaxes me.
Today is a new day. Must start these habits and routines and do my best to keep them.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
obama = president!
November 4, 2008 is a historical day.
It's a new day in America.
Although I am not too surprised, it is still an amazing moment in my life time. This was only my second time voting, the first being just 4 years ago for Kerry who did not win but I realized tonight will not be my last time at the voting booth. I heard someone on TV at Rockefeller Center in my home town of NYC say, "Although the person I voted for did not win, I'm so happy to be here at this moment." The democratic system works and we all have a voice and a choice.
Obama just gave his acceptance speech. I see Rev Jessie Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, among many other American faces in the thousands. Jessie Jackson and Oprah both have the same expression - so happy and in disbelief but utterly moved and insanely elated that they look almost in pain with furrowed brows and teary eyes not quite wiped completely.
What I remember most from Obama's speech is this: "I will listen to you (American people), especially when we disagree..." I was sold already but that seals the deal. Any leader who says this will always have my respect and admiration.
The cynical worry wart in me also saw this: bullet proof glass all around the stage. I'm worried for Obama and his family. Some nut out there must be pissed that he won. Possibly a raciest. Perhaps a Republican. Maybe just a crazy loonie. I hope I'm wrong or that s/he do not succeed.
It's a new day in America.
Although I am not too surprised, it is still an amazing moment in my life time. This was only my second time voting, the first being just 4 years ago for Kerry who did not win but I realized tonight will not be my last time at the voting booth. I heard someone on TV at Rockefeller Center in my home town of NYC say, "Although the person I voted for did not win, I'm so happy to be here at this moment." The democratic system works and we all have a voice and a choice.
Obama just gave his acceptance speech. I see Rev Jessie Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, among many other American faces in the thousands. Jessie Jackson and Oprah both have the same expression - so happy and in disbelief but utterly moved and insanely elated that they look almost in pain with furrowed brows and teary eyes not quite wiped completely.
What I remember most from Obama's speech is this: "I will listen to you (American people), especially when we disagree..." I was sold already but that seals the deal. Any leader who says this will always have my respect and admiration.
The cynical worry wart in me also saw this: bullet proof glass all around the stage. I'm worried for Obama and his family. Some nut out there must be pissed that he won. Possibly a raciest. Perhaps a Republican. Maybe just a crazy loonie. I hope I'm wrong or that s/he do not succeed.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
David Sedaris @ the Opera House, SF 27 Oct 2008
I wondered when I arrived at the Opera House if David Sedaris knew just how many people had come to see him read out loud. The line for Will Call was long and growing to the end of the block. The two lines to get in were not much better. I had a feeling David knew. This wasn't his first book tour and certainly not his first sold out show. I especially wondered though if he ever wondered that all these people, who obviously adore and love him, would be here, just for him - all while he was still a struggling writer - when no one else had yet called him a writer and to him, he was just a 'typist', as he thought of himself years ago. I wondered if he knew he would draw crowds on his own when he was an elf at Macy's Herald Square manning crowds who came, not for him per say, but for Santa and Santaland.
Last night was amazing. It was my first running, book signing, whatever you want to call it. And I had splurg for front row seats in the orchestra pit. We were so close to the stage I could have felt David Sedaris's spit, had he showered upon us. I haven't laughed consistently for so long at such honesty and wit in a long time. Although my husband does do a good job at it on a regular basis.
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